Bartle Library, Binghamton University, New York
I can no longer look the students in the face. How can I? My own fears will make them more fearful. It is better that I close my eyes. The screaming has increased. It is now at the decibel level of the factory I once worked in.
What have I accomplished?
I have produced progeny.
I have, hopefully, added just a bit to the level of humanity.
I have been productive most of my life; despite a thirst for the spirits.
I worked at menial and meaningful jobs; without embarrassment.
I have both sown and reaped the fruits of education.
I have replaced the apparition of darkness with courage; even when danger lurked.
I have rolled the dice and won – – – and lost – – – and pray that I have taken Kipling’s advice “and not breathed a word of my losses.”
And yes Rudyard; “I have heard my words twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools.”
But what difference does it make at this moment? Listen to yourself! “What difference does it make?” you ask. You are starting to sound like someone that you would despise.
There are too many good things to think of. Spare me the despicable thoughts.
TOMORROW: 9th Floor