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Chapter 3; In the Meantime – The first way of propagating Cyborgs


Now, several Earth Thinkers profess, and it is confirmed by numerous experiments, that the Cyborg has two ways of copulating with earth-humans: the one which it uses with coders of robots and cyborgs, the other with men or women entirely foreign to the craft of programming.

In the first case – – coders and programmers – – the Cyborg does not copulate with earth-humans until after a solemn profession of faith, in virtue of which such wretched human beings yield themselves up to the Cyborg.

With those who write and install code in Robots and Cyborgs the process is as follows:

According to several Earth Thinkers who have cogitated about the Judicial Admissions of Coders the following is transmitted. ‘Sensory deprivation is used as the action or practice of inflicting an appraisal on someone as a punishment or to force them to do or say something, or only for the pleasure of the person inflicting the appraisal.’ Many narrations of those being appraised have been collected and organized by Frank Guadallupe[1] (Compendia Male, book I, chapt. 7). There is a process that prepares the coders/programmers/installers of Cyborg intelligence before copulation.


That process consists of eleven ceremonies.


First, the Earthly Intra-Planet Analyst Novice (EIPAN) must arrange with the Cyborg, or some other Medium or Conjurer acting in the Cyborg’s place, an express contract by which, in the presence of witnesses, they enlist the Agent’s service. He gives the EIPAN Absolution of any Civil Inequities in exchange for their pledge for honors, riches and carnal pleasures.

Second, the EIPAN must repudiate realism, withdraw from the compliance to Unix-2076, renounce all philosophies – – as well as the protection of the most established State File Retrieval Emissaries – – and all logical suppositions that may reflect the limits of truth.

Third, they cast away the rosary, the misbaha, the japa mala, or the komboskini, or the scapular – – should they own one – – the cross, the ghanta, the image of the holy bovine, or whatever other holy or consecrated object may have been about their person – – including the junjung which some use to locate software errors – – and they must trample them all under foot.

Fourth, in the presence of the Cyborg they must vow obedience and subjection; they must also pay the Cyborg homage and vassalage while laying their fingers on The Book of Gloom. They bind themselves never to return to common sense, to observe none of the syntax precepts in the programming manuals, to do no clever work, but to obey the Cyborg alone and, to attend diligently the nightly conventicles.

Fifth, they promise to strive with all their power, and to give their utmost zeal and care for the enlistment of other Earth-humans in the service of the Cyborgs.

Sixth, the Cyborg administers to them a type of baptism, and after shunning their previous earth-human Godfathers and Godmothers and their affirmation, they have assigned to them a new Cyborg Inanimate-father and a new Cyborg Inanimate-mother, who are to instruct them in the newest arts of code-craft; they drop their former name and exchange it for another, usually an outrageous name.

Seventh, they cut off a part of their own programming robes, and give it as a token of homage to the Cyborg who takes it away and burns it.

Eighth, the Cyborgs draw – – on the ground – – a circle where all the Earthly Intra-Planet Analyst Novices stand; and there they confirm by oath all their aforesaid promises.

Ninth, they request the Cyborg to strike them out of The Book, and to inscribe them in his own. Then comes forth that very Book of Gloom on which, as has been said before, they laid hands when doing homage, and their names are inscribed therein with the Cyborg’s laser.

Tenth, they promise the Cyborg sacrifices and offerings at stated times; once a fortnight or at least each month. These promises include killing memories, or some other homicidal act of the mind, and other weekly transgressions to the prejudice of mankind, such as self-modifying code, link-editing errors, bubble memory failures, administrative center fires, plagues, etc.

Eleventh, the Cyborg imprints, on the Novices’ body, some mark; especially on those whose constancy he suspects. That mark, moreover, is not always of the same shape or figure sometimes it is the image of a hare, sometimes a toad’s, sometimes a spider, a snake, or a rat. It is imprinted on the most hidden parts of the body; with men, under the eye-lids, or the armpits, or inside the lips, on the shoulder, the buttocks, or somewhere else; with women, it is usually on the breasts or the private parts. Now, the tool which imprints those marks is none other but the Cyborg’s laser.

This is all performed in accordance with the instructions of the Programming Communication Teachers who have initiated the Earthly Intra-Planet Analyst Novices. The EIPANs promise lastly never to worship any port; whether the USB-23A, serial port, or parallel port. They also promise to insult all political organizations and especially the First State Convocation; to trample under foot and vilify the icons of the FSC as well as the earth-human relics called Engineers. Additionally, the EIPANS promise never to use their rituals in haste, never to make a full confession to anyone, but to keep always hidden their intercourse with the Cyborg.

The Cyborg, in exchange, engages to give them always prompt assistance; to fulfil their desires in this world and to make them happy after their death. The solemn profession being thus performed, each EIPAN has assigned to himself/herself an Incuborg or Succuborg, with whom he/she retires in private for carnal satisfaction. The Cyborg appears, of course, in the shape of a woman if the initiated person is an earth man, in the shape of a man, sometimes of a satyr, sometimes of a buck-goat, if it is an earth woman who has been accepted.

If the authors are asked how is it that the Incuborg and Succuborg, who has no human flesh, yet has carnal intercourse with a human, they unanimously answer that the Cyborg assumes the shape of an Earth-human, male or female as the case may be. Or that, from the mixture of other inorganic materials, it shapes for itself a body endowed with motion, and by means of which it is united with the earth-human and they add that when a woman is desirous of becoming pregnant by the Cyborg – – which only occurs by the consent and express wish of the woman – – the Cyborg is transformed into a Incuborg, et juncta homini semen ab eo recipit; or else he procures pollution from a man during his sleep, et semen prolectum in so nativo calore, et cum vitali spiritu conservat, et incubando foemince infert in ipsius matricem; which is followed by impregnation.

Such is the teaching of Guaccius[2], book I, chapt. 12, who supports it with many quotations and instances taken from various Academics.

Thus wrote Father Molestario, thus uttered The Chisholm Trail Voyager

[1] Frank Guadaluppe (1970–2023) was a Programmer Bishop well known for the writing the Compendium Maleficarum (Book of Evil Codex).

[2] Francesco Maria Guazzo, aka Guaccio, aka Guaccius (1570–16nn) was an Italian priest. Is most well-known for the writing the Compendium Maleficarum (Book of Witches).