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Tag Archives: Germany

TWO TALES WRITTEN UPON VELLUM

20 Saturday Aug 2016

Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky in Short Stories

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Tags

Austria, Bodleian Library, David, Dervish, False Pope, Father Collins, Germany, Irish Priest, Irish Whiskey, Lot, Moab, Mortician, Opus, Rumi, Russia, Ruth, Sodom, Sultan of Ruom, Sultn Mehmed II, Ternopol, The Conquerer, Ukraine, Vellum, Zaporozhian Cossacks

NOTE:  I am moving some of my short stories to this blog. This is the third one to be moved.  ENJOY!

vel·lum

1. fine parchment made originally from the skin of a calf.

2. smooth writing paper imitating vellum

 §

The origin of these tales cannot be defined.

Some say the first tale originated in the mind of a dervish and it is the only place that it ever occurred. Others say that it originated in Ternopol. Of course Ternopol sometimes resided in Austria and at other times Germany; now in more recent times, Russia. Possibly the dervish had wandered through Ternopol and that accounts for the confusion.

That is the most detail I have been able to glean from various old deteriorating manuscripts. So we will have to leave the first tale where it now sits; which is in the mind of a dervish who is visiting Ternopol.

The second tale never originated.

That is to say it never had a first existence.

It is one of those tales that you yourself have thought, an Irish priest has thought, a mortician working at his stainless steel table has thought and most important – – – but not lastly – – – a false Pope has thought.

So, you see, this second tale originates in the mind of all men, in all novels, hovels, in all palaces, in all villages, cities, metropoli across the world for all existence, for all time. That is why it has no origination; it is not an original tale. If I were pressed, under threat of death to give this particular thought a name and a place of origination, – – – I would say it was an opus in Opus.

Now that we have a clear picture and a bit of context let us move on to the tale of these two tales.

Oh yes! One more piece of information is necessary for you to understand the complete picture. The tale of these two tales is not a tale, it is a story; a true story that originated everywhere and nowhere. So let us begin our accidental journey.

A gentleman from Ternopol, whose ancestor most likely was the dervish, had two tales that he wished to record. Lacking paper, due to the ravages of war, he had to write these tales on vellum. This vellum had been liberated, by this Ternopolite, from an slaughter house that had been reduced to ashes by one side or the other.

The following is what he wrote on his single piece of vellum.

The first tale on vellum

Ukrainian Bachelors Home

Ukrainian Bachelors Home

The man recording this story on vellum turned it over to determine if the other side of the vellum remained usable.

The first tale on back side

Only the very freshest ink had bled through; mostly on the bottom of the page.

By time the ink had thoroughly dried he would be able to write his second tale on the reverse side of the vellum. He went to bed entirely satisfied with his efforts.

§

The next morning, after writing the first tale, the gentle Ukrainian
from Ternopol woke early. He checked the vellum to ensure it was usable. Once satisfied that it was, he started on the second tale; the one whose origination was both questionable and not questionable, because and since, it was ubiquitous and existed for all time.

This is what he wrote.

The second tale on reverse side

The Bodleian

The gentle Ukrainian from Ternopol, was a descendent of the dervish, if you remember correctly. Well, when he was through writing, he put his vellum manuscript aside for the second night. He went to bed and rested comfortably.

§

The next morning, the gentle Ukrainian from Ternopol who was a descendent of the dervish- – –  if you remember correctly – – – arose and had a breakfast of gruel. It was after that he checked on his vellum manuscript.

He moved his chair over by a window to get a clear view; his eyes were starting to fail. The bright morning light appeared to show that the ink had bled through the vellum quite severely. He moved his arms away from the window and into a darker area. He was greatly relieved to see that it was only the bright sunlight playing tricks through the vellum.

Everything was clear on both sides; each story could be clearly read.

He decided to hold the vellum up to the window to see what the full effect of the sunlight would do to the image. This is what he saw.

Combined Story #1 and #2

The gentle Ukrainian’s belief in mathematics was forever suspect. It was then that he realized that 1 story + 1 story equals 3 stories.

His next experiment was to write the entire bible, both old and new testaments, on the threads of a screw. He then wrote the entire Koran on the bottom side of the threads.

For this was his Lot in life.

LotFleesFromSodom

His goal was to see if both holy books would work as One.

Christians and Muslims revere Lot as a righteous man of God.  According to Christianity, Jesus is a descendent of Lot through David’s great-grandmother Ruth, who is descended from Lot’s son Moab. The Koran does not include any references to Lot’s drunkenness and incestuous relations. He is regarded as a prophet of Islam.

The Zaporozhian Cossacks

Just a little side-note to remind you about those FF who had all that fun writing a letter to the Sultan of Turkey telling him that his battalion of men were on their way home with their tail between their legs.

Rumi

And one more reminder that Rumi’s poems where so good that they transcended national and ethnic borders.

[End of the two tales that ended up as three]

Images and religious comments about Lot are from Wikipedia.

Waldo copyrighted

AS I WANDERED #75 MUSIC

25 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky in AS I WANDERED

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Tags

American in Paris, artists, Germany, Harmonica, Music, Town Musician, Young Boys

There we all were, standing around the railroad yard waiting for direction from Gunther.

Bogdan said the most important person in the world was the musician.

I said it was the writer.

Jim said it was the artist.

Someone else – – – I don’t remember who – – – said it was the mother; now who can argue against that?

Gunther came down from his perch to give us some direction. He listened to our conversation for a few minutes and then pronounced that the most important person in the world was the one who put the toilet paper in the rest rooms.

Then he told us to get back to work and gave each of us specific directions.

Boy – – – that Gunther sure can get to the point of an argument in a hurry – – – and he is almost always correct with his point; as he surely was in this case.

The next day Bogdan brought in this newspaper to prove his point.

Music American Review

 

Apparently the German people would agree with Bogdan.

The following fellows think that an American in Paris is the most important one.

 

 

~

As I Wander Introduction 2

©W. Tomosky♠

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