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Bosch, Hieronymus: The Last Judgement Paradise (Left Wing of Triptych)

Bosch, Hieronymus: The Last Judgement Paradise (Left Wing of Triptych)

 

“Diviners and alchemists; bear no witness to your own acts for they are weak and false. Behold the programmer! His logic is truth and his appearance is priest like. For his hands are clean and his robes are brilliant. The three kings of object oriented are.”

 

Thus Spoke Fred

 

Mnemonic Man

An old programmer told me before he died,

That his core memory was strung so wide,

His algorithms could not be satisfied.

 

So he built a machine, a computing machine.

Amazingly fast, dynamic memory to glean,

The answers to problems never before seen.

 

Round and round went the calculations,

Floating point and theoretical relations,

Without a pulley or other machinations.

 

“Compare “A” to “B” and register 5 to 3,

Oh holy computer you are not fooling me,”

Thus spoke the old programmer, in his ego and glee.

 

“IF this equals that, THEN divide by four,

ELSE multiply by 2, then set ceiling and floor,

For parametric limits, nothing less, nothing more.”

 

“When you are through show the answer only to me,

And divide by zero, for self-destruction, don’t you see?

That I, as high priest, will be glorious and free.”

 

I alone will have answers to the programs that I write,

I will hide them to myself, resulting in power and might,

As an antisocial programmer it is my God given right.

 

 

“O my brethren in FORTRAN, forget not Pascal either. Believers in APL, honor matrix algebra in its twilight as an idol. Users of 360 Assembler, scribe the honors of it as the basis for your beliefs. Speakers of tongues, continue your confusion with JCL. For ye do not believe in the Church of the Assembly of Microprocessors. Who would expect you to, my brethren? For it is the future ; and you are mired in the status quo. It is the future and you are not oriented toward objects. You move incrementally in decades; 360 to 370.”

Thus spoke Fred 

 

Tomorrow: “On Finding Your Niche”